On Thanksgiving (11/24/18)

Hi Daddy,

I wrote this yesterday before I finally came downstairs for dessert.

Today is just a shitty Thursday
It isn't Thanksgiving
I feel like shit and am still in my pajamas
It's been four days since my last shower.
I don't want to eat unless it's by myself
No happiness should be felt
What I was most thankful for is gone
You won't be at the table
So I'm not celebrating
Today I'll stay in bed and  ignore it all

Today is just a shitty Thursday

Love,

Alexa

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

On Lullaby (10/26/18)

Dear Daddy, I kind of want to start these letters with "Hi Daddy" instead...I think I might do that...but anyway. I just listened to "our song", the song I never wanted to hear again, the song that I wake up with stuck in my head more often than not; I listened to it. I don't know why, but I figured since I've been listening to it for weeks on end in my head, I might as well hear the real thing. So I listened to it. It was not the same hearing it out-loud as it is hearing it in my head.   I listened to it twice and I cried. Lullaby by Billy Joel. Who knew that an innocent lullaby a famous musician wrote to his daughter (another Alexa!) would be such a meaningful song in my life and throughout our relationship. It's not that we listened to this song frequently, we didn't. There are hundreds of songs you and I listened to together more than we have ever listened to this song, but those are not "our songs". I have always known that it was ...
Read more

On Valentines Day 2/14/19

Hi Daddy, I wrote this today, what do you think? What it’s like to lose your Dad as a young adult. 1) Unless They’ve Also Lost a Parent as a Young Adult, They Suck. If you lost your parent, and they got to live a healthy (or even unhealthy) life for a majority of your life, then you don’t get it, and I don’t want to hear that you “understand”, because you don’t.  To be more clear, if your parent passed away after living to be at least 70 OR you lost a parent after the age of 35, you don’t get it. Your parent got to see you get married, have children, buy a house, pay off a loan, get a dream job, get a PhD, live out dreams, set and achieve goals, whatever it is/was. My dad will never see my brother and I achieve ANY of those milestones. So, again, if you can check most of those items off of your list, then you don’t get it and I cannot relate to you. Side note- the loss of your grandparent, cousin, uncle, cousins uncle’s grandparent, does not compare to th...
Read more

On Thoughts in the car (11/1/18)

Hi Daddy, Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to talk. Is it always going to feel this way? I was thinking in the car on my drive home, I didn't realize how naive and unaware I was. No matter how many countries I've traveled to, rooftops I've climb on, horrible first dates I've had, questionable decisions I've made in public, or dance floors I've pelvic thrusted on, I was blissfully unaware of the true dangers in this world. I can handle myself in a dark alley or parking lot. I can deal with creepy guys that need to be reminded how to behave. I can help a convicted murderer work through her PTSD. I can teach parents how to be better parents. I can convince 6th graders to stay in school one more year before choosing to drop out and be a drug dealer in the inner city.  I can take up issue with one of the worlds richest people and biggest companies and not settle for less. But this? I can't handle this. Before you died, I had no idea how awful things rea...
Read more